Together but Separate

Next month is our 6 year anniversary.  We have been "together" for 7 years now.  I am pretty sure we are like every other couple out there who have ups and downs and ins and outs.

We have done many things over the years:

• moved 1 hour away from friends and family the week after we got married
• had 2 children
• weathered odd medical diagnosis
• a missions trip (only I went)
• moved across the country for a job to a city where we knew NO ONE
• left our home church and went in search for a new one

I am sure there are much more but you get the idea.  When I think of these HUGE times in our life together they are the high points of what defines TOGETHER for us.  Each of those we were in it together.  

This latest move, to a state neither of us has ties to except his work, is different.  While we are all moving together, in the same vehicles, at the same time, to the same apartment, this time we are not TOGETHER.

This time he is arriving in the new city with a company who already knows him and has shared their excitement to have him.  He will start a new job in the company he has built a reputation with for the last 4 years.  Yes, new address but same company and full of hopes, dreams and promotions.  He will jump into the new culture 4 days after we move.  He will have lunches, projects, wins, losses and much to learn.  He will be busy and stressed and surrounded by people working towards the same goal.

He is not leaving behind friendships developed over coffee, Applebees, children's voices or tears.  He is moving forward.

This time I am arriving in the new city with 2 children (5 and 2 years old).  We will live in a 2 bedroom apartment in a city of 65K, having packed up our spacious 3 bedroom home on a half an acre.  OUR FIRST HOME.  We will not have playdates or even friends to call for playdates.  We will not know where the park is, where the grocery is, where a friend might be.

This time, I leave behind beautiful friends who have taught me how to be a mom, wife and true friend.  Friends who held me as I cried thinking my kidneys were failing and who shouted with joy when we found out we were pregnant.  Friends who shared their fears and tears as I rushed to their side.  Friends who cared enough to share correction, encouragement and thanksgiving.

This time I leave a church family who has allowed me to grow and refine and has loved me through the process.  Amazing women of all ages and places in life.  Women I crave learning more from and growing with.

This time my heart breaks with each mile we drive.

This time his heart fills with hope with each mile we drive.

This time we are together but couldn't be further apart.  

That makes this hard.  Not impossible.  Just hard.

Even on a good day...

moving is tough

There isn't anyway around it.  I am extroverted, love adventure, enjoy trying new things.  But... moving is tough.

There are a ton of things I LOVE about moving.  I love the chance to learn a new culture (yes it varies in each state in the USA).  I love the chance to learn about new to me things (like the snorkle truck here in NW Ohio).  I love new people.

My favorite holiday is New Years.  Possibility abounds!  The chance to begin again.  Resolutions and a clean calendar waiting to be filled!  MY FAVORITE.

Knowing that, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that I view moving much in the same way.  This is a great time to reinvent me,  my priorities and goals.  I will be meeting new people who won't expect me to react, behave, answer, respond in a certain way.  I can change things about me and no one will miss the old me!!!

We have been so busy packing, trying to sell the house, finding a new place to live and just plain old living for me to reflect much on who I want to be in our new world.  As I pack our boxes today I have reflected on who I will be in one week.  What will our new "norms" be?

I don't know yet, but I am excited to see what they are and who I will get to be.