It was a very tough Dr visit. I had never been to an Endocrinologist until yesterday morning. I am alternating between thinking about all that he said and ignoring that I ever went.
The statement which made me shake and fight tears was his matter of fact "You do not have diabetes now, but with your family history and your lab numbers you will."
I kept it together in his office but when I called my mom on my way to the van I couldn't even get the words out as I was crying.
I saw him 3 days before he passed away. A frail, sick man who looked nothing like the robust full of energy man I had known 20 years before. That man was my father who died at the age of 61 due to complications of Diabetes/Kidneys/health.
You can't outrun your genes. It just isn't possible and lucky for me I won my Fathers health genes in the genes lottery. :(
I am not ok. I thought I was until this article on Plus Size Runners came across my FB Newsfeed. There I read great statements which I felt this past year of becoming a runner. Then this one:
“No matter how many lifestyle changes you make, they might never be radical enough to overcome your genetic predisposition,” he says. “But that should never be an excuse. You can still make significant improvements through nutrition and exercise, but they might not lead to as dramatic results as you’d hoped.”
It is true - you can't outrun your genes. I have some awesome genes. I am blessed to be a people person, able to bake, do math, grow tall, love animals, read extremely fast with comprehension, enjoy technology, and so very much more.
I will continue to run. In fact the Dr pretty much said if I don't I will be signing my early death certificate. So now I will run and I will run like Death is at my heels. I will run as though seeing my babies graduate rests on each step. I will run.
I will run and I will not look back.
You can't outrun your genes but I have another generation to educate and grow and inform so they will have more options than I do.
I will run and I will declare my love with each footstep.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Successes - Focus Christi-San
Today was my second week to weigh in at Weight Watchers. I joined last week online and showed up to weigh in on Saturday morning. I wasn't sure how things would go and didn't have much hope of anything being different this time.
I have become a runner in the last 10 months. Started in a running group in January and even through injuries and sickness I am a runner! But I am not a loser of weight. Nope, not one teeny tiny ounce. So, I decided I needed to try something else.
Today I weighed in and the scale says my first week is a 4.8 lb loss! TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!
Then our leader started talking and she didn't dwell on what we did wrong or how we lost track or anything about our failures.
She stood in front of us and asked "what were your successes?" I was ready to confess my failures. I was all set to hang my head in shame as I recall all the times this week I forgot I was on WW and ate things I had no clue how to turn into points. I walked in knowing how I had not been perfect.
What were your successes?
it was like the pinprick of light which grows. I started thinking of all the successes I had.
I completed a full week of WW and didn't starve, die or quit.
I shopped for healthy food
I chopped said food for hours on Sunday evening
I made freezer oats
I made Mason Jar Salads
I ate fruit at each meal
I didn't snack at night
I ate the kids scoop of ice cream instead of a double
I drank more than 8 glasses of water each day
I tracked my WW points
I ran one night
I got more sleep
I tried a few new recipes
The list is long of my successes, yet I only saw my failures. Why?
I went to WW to lose physical weight but I get the feeling there will be other weights lifted as I continue along this path.
I have become a runner in the last 10 months. Started in a running group in January and even through injuries and sickness I am a runner! But I am not a loser of weight. Nope, not one teeny tiny ounce. So, I decided I needed to try something else.
Today I weighed in and the scale says my first week is a 4.8 lb loss! TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!
Then our leader started talking and she didn't dwell on what we did wrong or how we lost track or anything about our failures.
She stood in front of us and asked "what were your successes?" I was ready to confess my failures. I was all set to hang my head in shame as I recall all the times this week I forgot I was on WW and ate things I had no clue how to turn into points. I walked in knowing how I had not been perfect.
What were your successes?
it was like the pinprick of light which grows. I started thinking of all the successes I had.
I completed a full week of WW and didn't starve, die or quit.
I shopped for healthy food
I chopped said food for hours on Sunday evening
I made freezer oats
I made Mason Jar Salads
I ate fruit at each meal
I didn't snack at night
I ate the kids scoop of ice cream instead of a double
I drank more than 8 glasses of water each day
I tracked my WW points
I ran one night
I got more sleep
I tried a few new recipes
The list is long of my successes, yet I only saw my failures. Why?
I went to WW to lose physical weight but I get the feeling there will be other weights lifted as I continue along this path.
Prepper of the weekly type
I have been training to run a half marathon since January of this year (2014). I started with a running group learning to run a 5k. I learned so much about weather, what I can accomplish in a group, what I can accomplish alone, the power of the mind, how to make friends and so very much more.
This is 10 months later and I have been so frustrated that I have been able to run:walk 12+ miles in one session but have not lost one single ounce of weight. I am an interval gal of the Jeff Galloway Variety.
I started running in January at 266 lbs and I started October 2014 at the EXACT SAME WEIGHT.
In the meantime I have done a few tests to help me understand how my body works and to find reasons why the increase in activity didn't equate to a decrease in body mass.
The Caloric Expenditure test I took told me that my metabolism is 30% FASTER than other women my age, weight and whatever else they compare. WOOHOO!!! My body is a MACHINE!
The Mobile Hydrostatic Body Fat Test told me how much of my weight was muscle (currently 165 lbs) and what was fat and what a realistic healthy body weight would be for me. I had thought I needed to be close to 155 lbs but as you can see without bones or skin my muscle is weighing in at 165 lbs. So that was eye opening and my expectation is now set to 199 lbs.
Armed with this knowledge about me and my body and how it functions and with a running coach and team I was certain that I would be rocking cute skirts, knee high boots and fun sweaters on a much less fluffy frame this fall.
It wasn't meant to be.
STILL 266 lbs. I have ROCKIN blood pressure and cholesterol. I can run! I can run FAR! But it is still 266 lbs being propelled forward.
Well, it was until this week! I joined Weight Watchers a week ago out of desperation. I had a virus attack my lungs last month which is taking FOREVER to heal from. During which time I am not running and I can feel it. I decided that my body needs something and it can't be just the calories in vs calories out fallacy.
So off to Weight Watchers I went. Desperate and disbelieving. As a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian I wasn't expecting that there would be much for me to change and therefore I really wasn't expecting much change or maybe if I was lucky I could experience the SLOWEST weight loss ever.
SURPRISE! Week one was a loss of 4.8 lbs. WOOT! Now to have a repeat of loss and not a gain just because I mislead myself into believing "I got this."
There are a few things I feel have helped those numbers to budge.
#1 - I was going days without a vegetable or fruit. As a LOV (Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian) this would seem impossible, but a few days of burritos without veggies or pasta bakes with only tomato or alfredo sauce and other such meals I could conceivably not consume a veggie or fruit for 2 days. NO BUENO!
#2. Not enough water. Just as I need more calories than the average woman (did I mention I am approx 5' 10" ) I also need more water. So my water goals are closer to 120 oz than the recommended 8 oz 8 times a day.
#3. Eating whenever I wanted. Eating whatever I wanted. Eating while doing other things. All three of these go together and they influence mood, grocery lists and satisfaction. I could chow through chips and dip and never even notice that I was eating.
#4. Not being aware of portions. For anything. My idea of what a portion of M&Ms is WAY SMALLER than what is considered a portion (WIN!!) but my idea of what a portion of pizza is is WAY LARGER than what is considered a portion.
So, this week I made Mason Jar Salads to eat each day in order to up my veggie intake. As Matt Frazier of No Meat Athlete suggests, I have determined to eat one salad a day. Some days it is my lunch meal and some days it was my afternoon snack but for the last week I have stuck to that.
Matt also suggests starting your day with a smoothie so you are able to get your fruits in for your day. I love using recipes from the blog www.organizeyourselfskinny.com and she also suggests smoothies so this week I am going to make a few of her freezer smoothie kits up and attempt that as my new habit.
I have had a long time frustration with breakfast and with kids in school for the first time this year, I needed HELP!. Enter Organize Yourself Skinny's Freezer Steel Cut Oats. I quadrupled this recipe and am still swimming in frozen oat disks. :) I pop 3 of these in the microwave for 3 minutes and then add honey and cinnamon. Stir it up, scoop some out for my 3 year old and then enjoy!!!
Finally I tracked my points for WW and my water intake this week. That kind of focus helped me know when I could eat the chocolate drizzled popcorn and when I just needed to suck it up and drink water.
So, here I am today at the beginning of a new week. I start run:walking this week with a goal race of 15k in December. This afternoon I chopped and cut and cleaned (not in that order) and I made 8 jar salads - hubby asked for some to take to work. Later tonight I will create 3-4 smoothie kits with whatever I have here in the house.
Prepping. Hoping. Feeling better!!! I have less than a pound before I am in the 250s! Wish me luck!!!
This is 10 months later and I have been so frustrated that I have been able to run:walk 12+ miles in one session but have not lost one single ounce of weight. I am an interval gal of the Jeff Galloway Variety.
I started running in January at 266 lbs and I started October 2014 at the EXACT SAME WEIGHT.
In the meantime I have done a few tests to help me understand how my body works and to find reasons why the increase in activity didn't equate to a decrease in body mass.
The Caloric Expenditure test I took told me that my metabolism is 30% FASTER than other women my age, weight and whatever else they compare. WOOHOO!!! My body is a MACHINE!
The Mobile Hydrostatic Body Fat Test told me how much of my weight was muscle (currently 165 lbs) and what was fat and what a realistic healthy body weight would be for me. I had thought I needed to be close to 155 lbs but as you can see without bones or skin my muscle is weighing in at 165 lbs. So that was eye opening and my expectation is now set to 199 lbs.
Armed with this knowledge about me and my body and how it functions and with a running coach and team I was certain that I would be rocking cute skirts, knee high boots and fun sweaters on a much less fluffy frame this fall.
It wasn't meant to be.
STILL 266 lbs. I have ROCKIN blood pressure and cholesterol. I can run! I can run FAR! But it is still 266 lbs being propelled forward.
Well, it was until this week! I joined Weight Watchers a week ago out of desperation. I had a virus attack my lungs last month which is taking FOREVER to heal from. During which time I am not running and I can feel it. I decided that my body needs something and it can't be just the calories in vs calories out fallacy.
So off to Weight Watchers I went. Desperate and disbelieving. As a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian I wasn't expecting that there would be much for me to change and therefore I really wasn't expecting much change or maybe if I was lucky I could experience the SLOWEST weight loss ever.
SURPRISE! Week one was a loss of 4.8 lbs. WOOT! Now to have a repeat of loss and not a gain just because I mislead myself into believing "I got this."
There are a few things I feel have helped those numbers to budge.
#1 - I was going days without a vegetable or fruit. As a LOV (Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian) this would seem impossible, but a few days of burritos without veggies or pasta bakes with only tomato or alfredo sauce and other such meals I could conceivably not consume a veggie or fruit for 2 days. NO BUENO!
#2. Not enough water. Just as I need more calories than the average woman (did I mention I am approx 5' 10" ) I also need more water. So my water goals are closer to 120 oz than the recommended 8 oz 8 times a day.
#3. Eating whenever I wanted. Eating whatever I wanted. Eating while doing other things. All three of these go together and they influence mood, grocery lists and satisfaction. I could chow through chips and dip and never even notice that I was eating.
#4. Not being aware of portions. For anything. My idea of what a portion of M&Ms is WAY SMALLER than what is considered a portion (WIN!!) but my idea of what a portion of pizza is is WAY LARGER than what is considered a portion.
So, this week I made Mason Jar Salads to eat each day in order to up my veggie intake. As Matt Frazier of No Meat Athlete suggests, I have determined to eat one salad a day. Some days it is my lunch meal and some days it was my afternoon snack but for the last week I have stuck to that.
Matt also suggests starting your day with a smoothie so you are able to get your fruits in for your day. I love using recipes from the blog www.organizeyourselfskinny.com and she also suggests smoothies so this week I am going to make a few of her freezer smoothie kits up and attempt that as my new habit.
I have had a long time frustration with breakfast and with kids in school for the first time this year, I needed HELP!. Enter Organize Yourself Skinny's Freezer Steel Cut Oats. I quadrupled this recipe and am still swimming in frozen oat disks. :) I pop 3 of these in the microwave for 3 minutes and then add honey and cinnamon. Stir it up, scoop some out for my 3 year old and then enjoy!!!
Finally I tracked my points for WW and my water intake this week. That kind of focus helped me know when I could eat the chocolate drizzled popcorn and when I just needed to suck it up and drink water.
So, here I am today at the beginning of a new week. I start run:walking this week with a goal race of 15k in December. This afternoon I chopped and cut and cleaned (not in that order) and I made 8 jar salads - hubby asked for some to take to work. Later tonight I will create 3-4 smoothie kits with whatever I have here in the house.
Prepping. Hoping. Feeling better!!! I have less than a pound before I am in the 250s! Wish me luck!!!
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