Is it really too much to ask?

I have heard the stats, read the memes and experienced it myself - most people are "listening" to form their next response.  It is spit out as a negative and proof of how horrible humans are and our world is.

I do my best to not be that way because we are all supposed to be nice and share.  I love friends and hearing about their lives and I don't want them to stop speaking to me about their stuff.

BUT I would KILL to have a full conversation right now.  A full conversation around me, the questions I have in MY life and which I am struggling with, working through and need feedback on.

I would KILL for an actual conversation - the give and the take.  Someone else engaged in it and on the same level.  Listening, thinking, sharing and learning.

I would KILL for an uninterrupted conversation.  No kids.  No fights.  No work calls.  No screens stealing away the attention.  No interruptions. No chores. No self imposed time limits.  No closing time.

I would KILL for the release from guilt at wanting this conversation.  To feel that I can desire this without analyzing if I am a narcissist or sociopath in the making.

I would KILL for what is important to me to become important to someone else for a few hours in time.  A fraction of a lifetime.  For the person who is speaking and listening to let go of their goals and agenda to listen and question and converse.

Today I keep pondering if this is even possible.  I wonder what kind of life has the time and genuine relationships in it in order to have this happen.  I dream of it and then have a hope that I can create it.

But I don't want to wait for something I need to create.  I really just need this now.  Today.  Is that really too much to ask?